Friday, May 30, 2008
The Not-To-Do List: 9 Habits to Stop Now
“Not-to-do” lists are often more effective than to-do lists for upgrading performance.
The reason is simple: what you don’t do determines what you can do.
Here are nine stressful and common habits that entrepreneurs and office workers should strive to eliminate. The bullets are followed by more detailed descriptions. Focus on one or two at a time, just as you would with high-priority to-do items. I’ve worded them in no-to-do action form:
1. Do not answer calls from unrecognized phone numbers
Feel free to surprise others, but don’t be surprised. It just results in unwanted interruption and poor negotiating position. Let it go to voicemail, and consider using a service like GrandCentral (you can listen to people leaving voicemail) or Simulscribe (receive voicemails as e-mail).
2. Do not e-mail first thing in the morning or last thing at night
The former scrambles your priorities and plans for the day, and the latter just gives you insomnia. E-mail can wait until 10am, after you’ve completed at least one of your critical to-do items…
3. Do not agree to meetings or calls with no clear agenda or end time
If the desired outcome is defined clearly with a stated objective and agenda listing topics/questions to cover, no meeting or call should last more than 30 minutes. Request them in advance so you “can best prepare and make good use of the time together.”
4. Do not let people ramble
Forget “how’s it going?” when someone calls you. Stick with “what’s up?” or “I’m in the middle of getting something out, but what’s going on?” A big part of GTD is GTP — Getting To the Point.
5. Do not check e-mail constantly — “batch” and check at set times only
I belabor this point enough. Get off the cocaine pellet dispenser and focus on execution of your top to-do’s instead of responding to manufactured emergencies. Set up a strategic autoresponder and check twice or thrice daily.
6. Do not over-communicate with low-profit, high-maintenance customers
There is no sure path to success, but the surest path to failure is trying to please everyone. Do an 80/20 analysis of your customer base in two ways—which 20% are producing 80%+ of my profit, and which 20% are consuming 80%+ of my time? Then put the loudest and least productive on autopilot by citing a change in company policies. Send them an e-mail with new rules as bullet points: number of permissible phone calls, e-mail response time, minimum orders, etc. Offer to point them to another provider if they can’t conform to the new policies.
7. Do not work more to fix overwhelm — prioritize
If you don’t prioritize, everything seems urgent and important. If you define the single most important task for each day, almost nothing seems urgent or important. Oftentimes, it’s just a matter of letting little bad things happen (return a phone call late and apologize, pay a small late fee, lose an unreasonable customer, etc.) to get the big important things done. The answer to overwhelm is not spinning more plates — or doing more — it’s defining the few things that can really fundamentally change your business and life.
8. Do not carry a cellphone or Crackberry 24/7
Take at least one day off of digital leashes per week. Turn them off or, better still, leave them in the garage or in the car. I do this on at least Saturday, and I recommend you leave the phone at home if you go out for dinner. So what if you return a phone call an hour later or the next morning? As one reader put it to a miffed co-worker who worked 24/7 and expected the same: “I’m not the president of the US. No one should need me at 8pm at night. OK, you didn’t get a hold of me. But what bad happened?” The answer? Nothing.
9. Do not expect work to fill a void that non-work relationships and activities should
Work is not all of life. Your co-workers shouldn’t be your only friends. Schedule life and defend it just as you would an important business meeting. Never tell yourself “I’ll just get it done this weekend.” Review Parkinson’s Law in 4HWW and force yourself to cram within tight hours so your per-hour productivity doesn’t fall through the floor. Focus, get the critical few done, and get out. E-mailing all weekend is no way to spend the little time you have on this planet.
—-
It’s hip to focus on getting things done, but it’s only possible once we remove the constant static and distraction. If you have trouble deciding what to do, just focus on not doing. Different means, same end.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
5 Tips Every Traveler Should Know About Internet Security
Photo by Mark Shandro
Whether sending email, uploading photos, booking flights and hotels, paying the bills back home, and checking the status of a bank account, travelers use the internet for a huge variety of tasks.
The ubiquity of internet cafes around the world has made this convenience possible.
Sitting down at an internet cafe has become so common in the life of travelers that few stop to consider the security of these very public computers.
But if we do stop to think about it, internet cafe computers (and any information you send or access from them) are clearly vulnerable. Fortunately, protecting yourself is not very difficult.
Here are some things you can do to keep your data safe:
1. Get Portable Firefox
The first step to securing your internet connection, is securing your browser. The best way to do this is to install Portable Firefox on a USB thumb drive.
When you sit down at the computer, plug in the thumb drive and start your own version of Firefox from there. As you will see, this small piece of gear is really a necessity for any traveler planning to use public computers.
2. Connect Securely
Once you have your own version of Firefox up and running on the cafe’s computer, it is time to connect to the internet. To ensure your online safety, it is imperative that you use a secure connection when accessing sensitive sites.
In most cases, when Firefox makes a secure connection a closed padlock appears in the right hand side of the address bar.
If you don’t see this icon, try retyping the address using “https” instead of “http.” In this case “s” means that you are using a special, secure, encrypted connection to the site.
If you always forget to include the “s” try bookmarking the secure site and using that link instead of typing in an address. If you are using a USB drive with your own Firefox browser, these bookmarks will be available anywhere you go.
Alternately, try using this special script with Firefox, which automatically inserts the “s” into preselected site addresses.
3. Confuse the Keyloggers
Once you have established a secure connection, it is time to log in. Thanks to the use of “https” it is significantly more difficult, if not impossible, for people ‘looking in’ on the connection from other computers to steal your data.
Photo by KingJeng.net
That said, the secure connection does not prevent a program on the computer you are using from recording everything you type. These programs, called “keyloggers” are especially dangerous when typing things like login names, passwords, and passport and credit card numbers.
Fortunately, there are a few things you can do.
First, by using bookmarks saved in your portable Firefox browser to connect to sensitive sites, instead of manually typing in the addresses, you eliminate the common method keyloggers use to index data. This makes it much more difficult to assign, for example, a password with a specific email site.
A simple trick that will fool most keyloggers is to disguise your password in a sea of “dummy characters.”
To do this click the password box and type the first character of your password. Next click anywhere else on the page to deselect the password box, and type some random characters before reselecting the password box and entering the second character.
Repeat this process for each character of your password.
This works because most keylogging programs cannot distinguish random typing from typing in a specific field on a web page. For a more complete explanation of this technique, read the short PDF report of a study testing it conducted by Microsoft, and this discussion that followed.
If you frequent some really questionable internet cafes and you want the best defense against keyloggers, than PasswordMaker is the answer. This program produces passwords that are very difficult to crack and is available as a add-on for your Firefox browser.
4. Use Encryption
No matter how well you have planned your trip, sometimes there is business that cannot be done remotely. When this happens, travelers are often forced to send sensitive private information to a trusted friend or family member.
If you are in a situation where you must email credit card, pin, social security, or passport numbers, using encrypted email is a very good idea.
Email encryption codes your message so that it is indecipherable. A special key is created that can be used to unlock the coded message. The easiest way to send encrypted email is via Gmail Encryption a script that is, obviously, specific to Google’s free email service.
If you don’t like Gmail, the Encrypt This! add-on for Firefox will easily encrypt any text in your browser.
5. Don’t Get Caught by a Phisher
Phishing scams involve decoy websites or emails that mimic an official one. When you enter your information into the fraudulent site, it is sent to a third party. Carefully checking the address of websites you visit is the best defense against these scams.
Firefox also comes with some built in protection. To enable it, go to the Tools menu and select Options. Under the Security tab, check the box next to “Tell me if the site I’m visiting is a suspected forgery” and select the option to “ask Google.”
For a little extra protection, there are several add-ons for Firefox that will make you even safer against phishers.
The Internet, especially when accessed from a public computer or internet cafe, is a dangerous place for your private data.
Fortunately, with a little preparation and care we can surf along without a problem. With precautions in place, you can worry less about your time online, and focus on enjoying your travels.
A Tiny Fruit That Tricks the Tongue
RADISH, WHERE IS THY STING? At flavor-tripping parties, guests find that miracle fruit makes everything sweet.
CARRIE DASHOW dropped a large dollop of lemon sorbet into a glass of Guinness, stirred, drank and proclaimed that it tasted like a “chocolate shake.”
They were among 40 or so people who were tasting under the influence of a small red berry called miracle fruit at a rooftop party in Long Island City, Queens, last Friday night. The berry rewires the way the palate perceives sour flavors for an hour or so, rendering lemons as sweet as candy.
The host was Franz Aliquo, 32, a lawyer who styles himself Supreme Commander (Supreme for short) when he’s presiding over what he calls “flavor tripping parties.” Mr. Aliquo greeted new arrivals and took their $15 entrance fees. In return, he handed each one a single berry from his jacket pocket.
“You pop it in your mouth and scrape the pulp off the seed, swirl it around and hold it in your mouth for about a minute,” he said. “Then you’re ready to go.” He ushered his guests to a table piled with citrus wedges, cheeses, Brussels sprouts, mustard, vinegars, pickles, dark beers, strawberries and cheap tequila, which Mr. Aliquo promised would now taste like top-shelf Patrón.
The miracle fruit, Synsepalum dulcificum, is native to West Africa and has been known to Westerners since the 18th century. The cause of the reaction is a protein called miraculin, which binds with the taste buds and acts as a sweetness inducer when it comes in contact with acids, according to a scientist who has studied the fruit, Linda Bartoshuk at the University of Florida’s Center for Smell and Taste. Dr. Bartoshuk said she did not know of any dangers associated with eating miracle fruit.
During the 1970s, a ruling by the Food and Drug Administration dashed hopes that an extract of miraculin could be sold as a sugar substitute. In the absence of any plausible commercial application, the miracle fruit has acquired a bit of a cult following.
Sina Najafi, editor in chief of the art magazine Cabinet, has featured miracle fruits at some of the publication’s events. At a party in London last October, the fruit, he said, “had people testifying like some baptismal thing.”
The berries were passed out last week at a reading of “The Fruit Hunters,” a new book by Adam Leith Gollner with a chapter about miracle fruit.
Bartenders have been experimenting with the fruit as well. Don Lee, a beverage director at the East Village bar Please Don’t Tell, has been making miracle fruit cocktails on his own time, but the bar probably won’t offer them anytime soon. The fruit is highly perishable and expensive — a single berry goes for $2 or more.
Lance J. Mayhew developed a series of drink recipes with miracle fruit foams and extracts for a recent issue of the cocktail magazine Imbibe and may create others for Beaker & Flask, a restaurant opening later this year in Portland, Ore.
He cautioned that not everyone enjoys the berry’s long-lasting effects. Despite warnings, he said, one woman became irate after drinking one of his cocktails. He said, “She was, like, ‘What did you do to my mouth?’ ”
Mr. Aliquo issues his own warnings. “It will make all wine taste like Manischewitz,” he said. And already sweet foods like candy can become cloying.
He said that he had learned about miracle fruit while searching ethnobotany Web sites for foods he could make for a diabetic friend.
The party last week was his sixth “flavor tripping” event. He hopes to put on a much larger, more expensive affair in June. Although he does sell the berries on his blog, www.flavortripping.wordpress.com, Mr. Aliquo maintains that he isn’t in it for the money. (He said he made about $100 on Friday.) Rather, he said, he does it to “turn on a bunch of people’s taste buds.”
He believes that the best way to encounter the fruit is in a group. “You need other people to benchmark the experience,” he said. At his first party, a small gathering at his apartment in January, guests murmured with delight as they tasted citrus wedges and goat cheese. Then things got trippy.
“You kept hearing ‘oh, oh, oh,’ ” he said, and then the guests became “literally like wild animals, tearing apart everything on the table.”
“It was like no holds barred in terms of what people would try to eat, so they opened my fridge and started downing Tabasco and maple syrup,” he said.
Many of the guests last week found the party through a posting at www.tThrillist.com. Mr. Aliquo sent invitations to a list of contacts he has been gathering since he and a friend began organizing StreetWars, a popular urban assassination game using water guns.
One woman wanted to see Mr. Aliquo eat a berry before she tried one. “What, you don’t trust me?” he said.
She replied, “Well, I just met you.”
Another guest said, “But you met him on the Internet, so it’s safe.”
The fruits are available by special order from specialty suppliers in New York, including Baldor Specialty Foods and S. Katzman Produce. Katzman sells the berries for about $2.50 a piece, and has been offering them to chefs.
Mr. Aliquo gets his miracle fruit from Curtis Mozie, 64, a Florida grower who sells thousands of the berries each year through his Web site, www.miraclefruitman.com. (A freezer pack of 30 berries costs about $90 with overnight shipping.) Mr. Mozie, who was in New York for Mr. Gollner’s reading, stopped by the flavor-tripping party.
Mr. Mozie listed his favorite miracle fruit pairings, which included green mangoes and raw aloe. “I like oysters with some lemon juice,” he said. “Usually you just swallow them, but I just chew like it was chewing gum.”
A large group of guests reached its own consensus: limes were candied, vinegar resembled apple juice, goat cheese tasted like cheesecake on the tongue and goat cheese on the throat. Bananas were just bananas.
For all the excitement it inspires, the miracle fruit does not make much of an impression on its own. It has a mildly sweet tang, with firm pulp surrounding an edible, but bitter, seed. Mr. Aliquo said it reminded him of a less flavorful cranberry. “It’s not something I’d just want to eat,” he said.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Why You Should Write Things Down
Published by September 12th, 2007 in Health, Wealth & Money, Productivity and Personal Development.
This is a reminder.
You probably already know all - or most - of this. But reminders can be useful.
If your memory is anything like mine it’s like a leaking bucket.
Since I’ve started to write things down more often I have also noticed – when reviewing old notes – how much my memory can leak.
The memory isn’t very reliable. Every time we remember something we recreate what happened rather than just replay a film from our mental archives. The recreation is directed by a number of things such our beliefs, our emotional state at the time and our self-image.
What you remember about an event may differ quite a bit from what someone else remembers. There is a wide variety of interpretations of reality and truth. And then when you try to remember that interpretation of an event later on it can change even more.
So we need external systems. And there are a lot of them to experiment with.
Until recently I have preferred to mostly keep it simple with paper and a pen. I feel that overcomplicated programs seems to encourage being busy rather than being effective. Getting a dozen things done quickly isn’t that helpful if what you are getting done isn’t that important.
I also use this blog not only to share useful tips and information but also to keep a record for myself of thoughts on different areas of self improvement. This has been helpful to remind myself of various ideas and techniques that can help me improve my life and of mistakes that are so easy to make.
Journaling
A few months ago I made an addition to the blog and the paper notebooks where I wrote my to-do lists, short notes and goals. I started journaling using my computer. This allowed me record a fuller picture of events, thoughts and emotions. Instead of being confined to small notebooks I could get it all down. This was a relief and allowed me to capture a whole lot more nuance and think things through more easily. I wish I had started earlier.
At the moment I use less paper. Instead I record thoughts, goals, ideas and then work on them using The Journal by David RM. From what I have seen so far, I haven’t used it long, it seems to be an excellent piece of software with a 45 day free trial. And I’m sure there are also a number of good and free alternatives out there too.
I still use small notebooks to write down my to-do lists and shopping lists for the day. But since my thoughts and ideas have grown to a quite a large number it’s easier to keep them in a one piece of software rather than a few notebooks. This also makes it easier to be more creative and find connections and combinations between different ideas. And since I have just started journaling I guess there are more insights to come.
So, I have already mentioned a few ideas on why you should write things down. Below are few more.
9 more reasons to write things down
- Written goals are important. One thing a lot of very successful self improvement writers – Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar and so on - go on and on about is the importance of having written goals. A written goal brings clarity and focus. It gives you a direction. And by rewriting your goals you not only reaffirm what your goals are. You may also have found new insights that bring more clarity and focus to your goal and life. A written goal is also a powerful reminder that you can use to keep yourself on track.
- To remind yourself to focus. You can use paper or your screensaver or another program to give yourself reminders. Often we get caught up in our everyday business and lose track of what is most important. To keep yourself on track - instead of just keeping yourself busy with low-priority tasks - simply write down a reminder that can stop your thoughts when you see it and guide you back on track again. I like the reminder: is this useful? Then put that reminder where you can´t avoid seeing throughout your day.
- Unloading your mental RAM. When you don´t occupy your mind with having to remember every little thing – like how much milk to get – you become less stressed and it becomes easier to think clearly. This is, in my opinion, one of the most important reasons to write things down. Feeling more calm and relaxed does not only improves your health but also makes life easier.
- Clearer thinking. You can’t hold that many thoughts in your head at once. If you want to solve a problem it can be helpful to write down you thoughts, facts and feelings about it. Then you don’t have to worry your mind about remembering, you can instead use it to think more clearly. Having it all written down gives you an overview and makes it easier to find new connections that can help you solve the problem.
- A record of what you were thinking. I have already noticed how interesting it is to just go back a month to see what I was thinking then. I believe that when you have kept a record of your thoughts for quite a while you’ll have some fascinating reading on your hands. It can also show you how you have changed and improved.
- A record of your positive qualities. When I read what have written it is sometimes fuzzy and unfocused. But other times I’m kinda surprised at how clever I was. Keeping a written record could be a good way to remind yourself of your positive qualities.
- Improve long-term focus on what’s important. Reminders that I described above can be useful to keep you on track in your normal day. But you can also use a journal as a way to keep an overview of your thinking over a longer timespan and to recognize both positives and negatives in your thinking. You may, for example, think of yourself as a healthy person but realise when you read through your journal that you have only been out running four times this month. This can help to spot trouble and keep you on track within a larger timeframe.
- Become better acquainted with yourself. You may, for instance, have an image of your life where you are a positive person but discover when reading through your notes for the last month that you are negative about your job or a relationship in almost every entry. This might tell you something that you haven’t really paid much attention to about yourself and/or something about that job or relationship. This can bring clarity to your life.
- Track your achievements. If you are working out or investing in stocks it can be useful to keep written record of your results and thoughts over a longer timespan. It can not only motivate you when you are feeling down about your perceived lack of positive results and let you see how far you have really come. It can also help you use problems and solutions from the past to find solutions to new problems (or readjustments to prevent problems before they even appear).
Punctuality Counts
For years, I could be counted on to be late. Got a lunch meeting at 11:30 am? Dustin will be there at 11:40. Got a class at 9:00am? Dustin will be there at 9:20. Is there a meeting at 6:00 pm? Dustin’s there by 6:30. Work hours are 8:30 am to 5 pm? I’m in by 9:00.
People joked about it. It was my “thing” — I was on “Dustin time”. It was all very funny — until I realized that the same people that joked about it showed, time and again, that they didn’t trust me to get things done — that, indeed, they saw me as an incompetent person who couldn’t even get it together enough to be on time.
Being punctual matters, at least in today’s Western societies. Being on time, every time, conveys far more than just a good sense of timing. It tells people that you’re on top of things, that you’re organized, that you can be counted on, that you value them, and, ultimately, that you value yourself.
Punctuality shows mastery
Being on time consistently shows everyone around you that you are the master of your life. It demonstrates foresight — the ability to predict possible hang-ups — and adaptability — the ability to change your plans to accommodate those hang-ups.
On the other hand, being late all the time shows that you are a victim of the winds of fate, that you’re incapable of anticipating possible problems and either dealing with them or altering your course to avoid them. It sends the message that you’re harassed by time, not in control of it.
Punctuality shows competence
Someone who shows, over and over, that they are the master of their time is someone who will be taken seriously in areas far removed from time management. That foresight and adaptability that gets you where you need to be, when you need to be there, tells the people around you that you can handle whatever is thrown at you.
Conversely, people assume that if the chronically late person can’t even consider the possibility of a little extra traffic, s/he won’t be able to consider other obstacles that might stand in the way of getting a project or task done.
Punctuality shows integrity
Punctuality is also a trust issue. When you make an appointment, you are making a commitment to be where you said you’d be when you said you’d be there. The only way you build up other people’s trust in you is by consistently meeting your commitments — and that starts with being punctual. The person who is always on time is someone others can trust to be as good as their word.
In contrast, the person who is perpetually late is, plain and simple, someone who lies to you repeatedly. You said you’d be here at 9 o’clock, but you’re not here; if your word isn’t good enough about something as trivial as showing up on time, how can your word be any good about anything more important?
Punctuality shows you value people
People are busy — too busy to be waiting on you while their other work goes unfinished. Being punctual shows, clearly and truly, that you value their time and, by extension, that you value them as a person. It says, “Let’s make this time we’ve arranged as productive as possible so we can both get on with all our other important stuff.”
Compare that with the attitude of the chronically late person who, when confronted, says, “But I’m always on time for the things that are important.” The message this sends is that, when I’m late, it’s because I really don’t feel that whatever I’m late for is all that important — if it were a date with a cute woman or man I met at the Starbucks, I’d have been on time; if it were a Moby concert, I’d have been on time; but since it’s just a meeting about the status of the big project I’m working on, I feel I can be late.
There’s another kind of always-late person: the person who makes a “big entrance”, using their lack of punctuality to show their status. Let’s face it — showing off your importance by having other people sit and wait on you clearly says “you’re not important to me.” And everyone knows the solution — don’t show up, or wait until the moment’s just right, and stab that high-and-mighty loser in the back. If you like to make the grand entrance, don’t worry — someday soon you’ll make a grand entrance to an empty room.
Punctuality shows you value yourself
Finally, being on time shows you value your time — and yourself. First of all, being repeatedly late is a self-destructive behavior — why else would you risk not landing the big client, losing your job, or insulting those around you? And everyone knows that most self-destructive behavior follows from low self-esteem. Even if it’s not true, that’s the perception you’re allowing others.
Second of all, punctuality shows that your time is too valuable to waste stuck in traffic, on the phone dealing with trivial matters, or otherwise occupied in anything other than the business at hand. Being late demonstrates, plainly and clearly, that you’re interruptible, that your work is never as high a priority as whatever trivial thing comes along, and that you’re unwilling to set priorities in your own life. If that’s the case, why should anyone else care about your time? Why shouldn’t they interrupt you whenever they feel like it, dump meaningless busy-work on you, or dismiss you entirely?
It took me a while to figure all this out (late to the party, as usual) but once I did, I made a concerted effort to be on time — or, usually, early — for every appointment. With few exceptions, I am on time, too — and every exception is an opportunity for me to learn how better to manage the same circumstances next time.
If you’re perpetually late, it’s time to stop — right now, not 10 minutes from now. Consider the message you’re sending to those around you, and consider the message you’d like to be sending, and act immediately to match those two up.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Classic
To the MAN who DID his hoochie on my hood!! \@@/ (PIC) - w4m
Date: 2004-08-27, 11:58AM PDT
Okay, so I live near the beach....
All the dust, the drunks, the tourists exhaust, the noise, you name it! But hey I wouldn't live anywhere else!!!
SO yeah my car is dirty all the time and I hear it from my friends, my BF and everyone all the time...
"why don't you wash it", blah blah blah!! And sure everyones seen the "wash me" signs that people devilishly write on cars from time to time..
But really?? THIS WAS NO WAY, NO HOW! A COOL WAY TO FORCE ME TO WASH MY CAR and make me late for WORK!!!!! WITH MY BF LAUGHING - HAR HAR WHY WASH IT! IT'S PRICELESS
WAS THIS REALLY NECESSARY you cocky sons of bitches???
THIS IS MY CAR, NOT YOUR BED!!!!! RRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
I got your prints from my hood, thank you very much!!! I will find your lame asses!!! OH! and Thank you hooch for scratching my paint with your nipple piercings and dime store MR T rings!!!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
16 Things I Wish They Had Taught Me in School
Image by foundphotoslj.
I am 28 now. I don’t think about the past or regret things much these days.
But sometimes I wish that I had known some of things I have learned over the last few years a bit earlier. That perhaps there had been a self-improvement class in school. And in some ways there probably was.
Because some of these 16 things in this article a teacher probably spoke about in class. But I forgot about them or didn’t pay attention.
Some of it would probably not have stuck in my mind anyway. Or just been too far outside my reality at the time for me to accept and use.
But I still think that taking a few hours from all those German language classes and use them for some personal development classes would have been a good idea. Perhaps for just an hour a week in high school. It would probably be useful for many students and on a larger scale quite helpful for society in general.
So here are 16 things I wish they had taught me in school (or I just would like to have known about earlier).
1. The 80/20 rule.
This is one of the best ways to make better use of your time. The 80/20 rule – also known as The Pareto Principle – basically says that 80 percent of the value you will receive will come from 20 percent of your activities.
So a lot of what you do is probably not as useful or even necessary to do as you may think.
You can just drop – or vastly decrease the time you spend on – a whole bunch of things.
And if you do that you will have more time and energy to spend on those things that really brings your value, happiness, fulfilment and so on.
2. Parkinson’s Law.
You can do things quicker than you think. This law says that a task will expand in time and seeming complexity depending on the time you set aside for it. For instance, if you say to yourself that you’ll come up with a solution within a week then the problem will seem to grow more difficult and you’ll spend more and more time trying to come up with a solution.
So focus your time on finding solutions. Then just give yourself an hour (instead of the whole day) or the day (instead of the whole week) to solve the problem. This will force your mind to focus on solutions and action.
The result may not be exactly as perfect as if you had spent a week on the task, but as mentioned in the previous point, 80 percent of the value will come from 20 percent of the activities anyway. Or you may wind up with a better result because you haven’t overcomplicated or overpolished things. This will help you to get things done faster, to improve your ability to focus and give you more free time where you can totally focus on what’s in front of you instead of having some looming task creating stress in the back of your mind.
3. Batching.
Boring or routine tasks can create a lot of procrastination and low-level anxiety. One good way to get these things done quickly is to batch them. This means that you do them all in row. You will be able to do them quicker because there is less “start-up time” compared to if you spread them out. And when you are batching you become fully engaged in the tasks and more focused.
A batch of things to do in an hour today may look like this: Clean your desk / answer today’s emails / do the dishes / make three calls / write a grocery shopping list for tomorrow.
4. First, give value. Then, get value. Not the other way around.
This is a bit of a counter-intuitive thing. There is often an idea that someone should give us something or do something for us before we give back. The problem is just that a lot of people think that way. And so far less than possible is given either way.
If you want to increase the value you receive (money, love, kindness, opportunities etc.) you have to increase the value you give. Because over time you pretty much get what you give. It would perhaps be nice to get something for nothing. But that seldom happens.
5. Be proactive. Not reactive.
This one ties into the last point. If everyone is reactive then very little will get done. You could sit and wait and hope for someone else to do something. And that happens pretty often, but it can take a lot of time before it happens.
A more useful and beneficial way is to be proactive, to simply be the one to take the first practical action and get the ball rolling. This not only saves you a lot of waiting, but is also more pleasurable since you feel like you have the power over your life. Instead of feeling like you are run by a bunch of random outside forces.
6. Mistakes and failures are good.
When you are young you just try things and fail until you learn. As you grow a bit older, you learn from - for example - school to not make mistakes. And you try less and less things.
This may cause you to stop being proactive and to fall into a habit of being reactive, of waiting for someone else to do something. I mean, what if you actually tried something and failed? Perhaps people would laugh at you?
Perhaps they would. But when you experience that you soon realize that it is seldom the end of the world. And a lot of the time people don’t care that much. They have their own challenges and lives to worry about.
And success in life often comes from not giving up despite mistakes and failure. It comes from being persistent.
When you first learn to ride your bike you may fall over and over. Bruise a knee and cry a bit. But you get up, brush yourself off and get on the saddle again. And eventually you learn how to ride a bike. If you can just reconnect to your 5 year old self and do things that way - instead of giving up after a try/failure or two as grown-ups often do – you would probably experience a lot more interesting things, learn valuable lessons and have quite a bit more success.
7. Don’t beat yourself up.
Why do people give up after just few mistakes or failures? Well, I think one big reason is because they beat themselves up way too much. But it’s a kinda pointless habit. It only creates additional and unnecessary pain inside you and wastes your precious time. It’s best to try to drop this habit as much as you can.
8. Assume rapport.
Meeting new people is fun. But it can also induce nervousness. We all want to make a good first impression and not get stuck in an awkward conversation.
The best way to do this that I have found so far is to assume rapport. This means that you simply pretend that you are meeting one of your best friends. Then you start the interaction in that frame of mind instead of the nervous one.
This works surprisingly well. You can read more about it in How to Have Less Awkward Conversations: Assuming Rapport.
9. Use your reticular activation system to your advantage.
I learned about the organs and the inner workings of the body in class but nobody told me about the reticular activation system. And that’s a shame, because this is one of the most powerful things you can learn about. What this focus system, this R.A.S, in your mind does is to allow you to see in your surroundings what you focus your thoughts on. It pretty much always helps you to find what you are looking for.
So you really need to focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. And keep that focus steady.
Setting goals and reviewing them frequently is one way to keep your focus on what’s important and to help you take action that will move your closer to toward where you want to go. Another way is just to use external reminders such as pieces of paper where you can, for instance, write down a few things from this post like “Give value” or “Assume rapport”. And then you can put those pieces of paper on your fridge, bathroom mirror etc.
10. Your attitude changes your reality.
We have all heard that you should keep a positive attitude or perhaps that “you need to change your attitude!”. That is a nice piece of advice I suppose, but without any more reasons to do it is very easy to just brush such suggestions off and continue using your old attitude.
But the thing that I’ve discovered the last few years is that if you change your attitude, you actually change your reality. When you for instance use a positive attitude instead of a negative one you start to see things and viewpoints that were invisible to you before. You may think to yourself “why haven’t I thought about things this way before?”.
When you change you attitude you change what you focus on. And all things in your world can now be seen in a different light.
This is of course very similar to the previous tip but I wanted to give this one some space. Because changing your attitude can create an insane change in your world. It might not look like it if you just think about it though. Pessimism might seem like realism. But that is mostly because your R.A.S is tuned into seeing all the negative things you want to see. And that makes you “right” a lot of the time. And perhaps that is what you want. On the other hand, there are more fun things than being right all the time.
If you try changing your attitude for real – instead of analysing such a concept in your mind - you’ll be surprised.
You may want to read more about this topic in Take the Positivity Challenge!
11. Gratitude is a simple way to make yourself feel happy.
Sure, I was probably told that I should be grateful. Perhaps because it was the right thing to do or just something I should do. But if someone had said that feeling grateful about things for minute or two is a great way to turn a negative mood into a happy one I would probably have practised gratitude more. It is also a good tool for keeping your attitude up and focusing on the right things. And to make other people happy. Which tends to make you even happier, since emotions are contagious.
12. Don’t compare yourself to others.
The ego wants to compare. It wants to find reasons for you to feel good about yourself (“I’ve got a new bike!”). But by doing that it also becomes very hard to not compare yourself to others who have more than you (“Oh no, Bill has bought an even nicer bike!”). And so you don’t feel so good about yourself once again. If you compare yourself to others you let the world around control how you feel about yourself. It always becomes a rollercoaster of emotions.
A more useful way is to compare yourself to yourself. To look at how far you have come, what you have accomplished and how you have grown. It may not sound like that much fun but in the long run it brings a lot more inner stillness, personal power and positive feelings.
13. 80-90% of what you fear will happen never really come into reality.
This is a big one. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They are just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will most often not be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most often just a waste of time.
This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from your thoughts.
14. Don’t take things too seriously.
It’s very easy to get wrapped up in things. But most of the things you worry about never come into reality. And what may seem like a big problem right now you may not even remember in three years.
Taking yourself, your thoughts and your emotions too seriously often just seems to lead to more unnecessary suffering. So relax a little more and lighten up a bit. It can do wonders for your mood and as an extension of that; your life.
15. Write everything down.
If your memory is anything like mine then it’s like a leaking bucket. Many of your good or great ideas may be lost forever if you don’t make a habit of writing things down. This is also a good way to keep your focus on what you want. Read more about it in Why You Should Write Things Down.
16. There are opportunities in just about every experience.
In pretty much any experience there are always things that you can learn from it and things within the experience that can help you to grow. Negative experiences, mistakes and failure can sometimes be even better than a success because it teaches you something totally new, something that another success could never teach you.
Whenever you have a “negative experience” ask yourself: where is the opportunity in this? What is good about this situation? One negative experience can – with time – help you create many very positive experiences.
The Clutter Within: What's Your Clutter Personality?
It's silent. It's sneaky. It creeps about in corners: clutter. When the state of the house aggravates you to your last nerve, it's tempting to launch an all-out battle in the war against clutter.
First, though, know your enemy! There are as many reasons for household clutter as there are clutterers. As Pogo says, "We have seen the enemy, and he is us!"
Take aim on your household's clutter problem by going to the root of the problem: your own thinking.
What's your clutter personality ... and which of these internal voices strikes a chord?
The Hoarder: "This might come in hand someday!"
Hoarding is rooted in insecurity, financial or otherwise. Deep down, Hoarders fear that they'll never have the resources they need if they let go of any possession, no matter how worn, useless or superfluous.
If cabinets and closets are crammed with egg cartons, cracked margarine containers, and old magazines, there's likely Hoarding behavior underlying the clutter.
Hoarders need to be remind themselves that resources will always be available. Where can a Hoarder look outside the home for a substitute Hoard?
Reassure yourself! Stuff will be with us always. Find magazines indexed at the library, kitchenware marked down at yard sales, and every small appliance known to man can be found (cheap!)at the thrift store. Think of these off-site treasure troves as attenuated household storage areas. Dare to dump it!
The Deferrer: "I'll think about that tomorrow!"
Those of the deferral mindset are guilty of the great set-aside. Bills, notices, old newspapers, items that need cleaning or repair, and household projects are all set aside to be dealt with another day. The Deferrer will leave dinner dishes in the sink, wet laundry in the washer, and dropped fruit underneath the backyard apple tree.
Deferrers need to be reminded that tomorrow has no more time or energy than today--and that deferring decisions drags down each new day with yesterday's unfinished business.
Since this behavior is grounded in procrastination, apply the best remedy: action. For Deferrers, simply making a start creates the momentum needed to finish the job. Remember, it's easier to keep a rolling stone in motion, than it is to pick it up and start it rolling the first time!
The Rebel: "I don't wanna and you can't make me!"
Somehow, it's all Mom's fault. Rebels were forced to pick up after themselves as children; as adults, they're still expressing the mute and stubborn determination of a four-year-old who refuses to pick up his toys.
Rebel clutter can be anything, but often centers on household activities. No, the Rebel won't put his or her clothes in the hamper, cereal bowl in the dishwasher, or car in the garage--even when the clothing gets wrinkled, the cereal bowl hardens into yellow goop, and the car gets damaged by roadside traffic.
Rebels need to remind themselves that the war is over. They don't live with Mom anymore--and their own family deserves an adult on the job, not a sulky child.
Tell that inner Rebel, "It's okay--I'm the parent now, and I want a house that's nice to live in. By switching places with the old authority figure, the Rebel can find a way out of "I don't wanna!"
The Perfectionist: "Next week, I'll organize everything--perfectly!"
Perfectionists are wonderful people, but they live in an all-or-nothing world. They do wonderful things--when they do them!
Perfectionism forms an inner barrier to cutting clutter because the Perfectionist can't abide doing a less-than-perfect job. Without the time to give 110% to the project, the Perfectionist Clutterer prefers to let matters--and the piles of stuff--slide.
For example, plastic food containers may be overflowing their cabinet, but the Perfectionist Clutterer won't scrabble them to rights until he or she can purchase the perfect shelf paper, lid holder organizer, and color-coded labels. As a result, the massed and crowded containers stay put, falling down onto the feet of anyone hapless enough to open the cupboard door.
Perfectionist Clutterers need to remind themselves of the 20-80 rule: 20% of every job takes care of 80% of the problem, while fixing the remaining 20% will gobble 80% of the job. By giving themselves permission to do only 20%, Perfectionist Clutterers get off the dime and get going.
It is perfectly fine to tell the inner Perfectionist, "Today, I'll do the important 20% of that job: sorting, stacking and organizing those food containers. Later, I'll do the other 80%, buying organizers and putting down shelf paper. If later never comes? Well, you've outwitted your inner Perfectionist Clutterer. Congratulations!
The Sentimentalist: "Oh, the little darling!"
Sentimentalists never met a memento they didn't like--or keep. Children's clothing and school papers, faded greeting cards, souvenirs from long-ago trips and jumbled keepsakes crowd the environment of the Sentimental Clutterer.
Problem is, there's so much to remember that the truly endearing items get lost in a flood. Who can find the first grade report card in an attic full of boxes of paper?
The Sentimental Clutterer needs reduce the mass of mementos to a more portable state, changing mindset from an indiscriminate "Awwww!" to a more selective stance.
For example, a Sentimental Clutterer can corral each child's school papers into a single box by selecting one best drawing, theme or project each month.
Other ideas for reining in rampant Sentimental Clutter include scrapbooking the very best photos and papers, or photographing surplus sentimental clutter before letting it go. Sort it out, choose the best, keep the memories and dump the rest!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Coping With the Tall Traveler’s Curse
Coping With the Tall Traveler’s Curse
If you feel cramped when you fly, imagine the anguish if you were tall.
For extra-tall travelers, the discomfort continues long after the flight, as their feet dangle off the edge of hotel beds, forcing some to position their bodies diagonally, and as they dance what one tall traveler calls the “shower limbo” thanks to too-low showerheads.
“I truly believe it’s a serious disconnect. I end up literally booking everything myself, travel agents haven’t a clue,” said R. J. Brennan, director of strategic workplace for IA Interior Architects in its Chicago office, who is 6-foot-8. “In economy, my knees are embedded into the wire of the seat pocket — I’m literally wedged in and can’t move. On some small planes, I have to physically get off the plane to take my coat off.”
But some relief is at hand, both in the air and on the ground. Two years ago, SeatGuru.com introduced airline comparison charts, allowing readers to see at a glance “seat pitch” — the distance between the back of a seat and the seat in front of it, and the best indicator of legroom — in different classes and aircraft.
One SeatGuru feature allows readers to rearrange the alphabetical airline list by seat pitch, making it obvious that the bigger seat pitches in domestic economy class — 34 to 36 inches — are on United, JetBlue, Delta Air Lines’ McDonnell Douglas MD-88 shuttle, Air Canada and Westjet. Since a seat pitch of only 29 to 30 inches is found in most airlines’ economy class, this is no small potatoes.
Recently, JetBlue reconfigured its planes to sell seats with 38 inches of seat pitch in six rows on its A320 fleet and the emergency exit row in its Embraer 190 planes for an extra $10 or more. (JetBlue’s other seats with up to 36 inches of seat pitch in certain rows, have no extra fee.)
In Premium Economy, offered by some airlines mostly on international flights, the discount British airline BMI is the hands-down winner, according to SeatGuru, with 49 inches of seat pitch on an Airbus A330-200.
The only hotel chain that seems to have staked out the tall traveler niche is Kimpton Hotels, which introduced its “tall rooms” with 96-inch beds, higher showerheads and higher door frames in 1995. Each hotel in Kimpton’s Hotel Monaco chain has about 20 tall rooms, said Steve Pinetti, senior vice president for marketing.
Kimpton, which even sells its extra-long beds for $2,595 at www.kimptonstyle.com, plans to add Tall Rooms with the custom-made Sealy Postulux 700 beds to most of its new hotels, he added.
Other hotels that have tall-friendly rooms are the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, which has 48 rooms with 96-inch beds in its Palms tower and fantasy tower. (The owners, the Maloof family, are sensitive to the height issue because they are the majority owner of a National Basketball Association team, the Sacramento Kings.)
The W Hotel Dallas has 95-inch beds, taller doorways and higher showerheads and Canoe Bay, a luxury resort in rural Wisconsin that has been used for corporate retreats, has 92-inch beds in three cottages, with plans for more.
But these hotels are exceptions. Some hotels have king-size beds The industry standard for king-size beds is 72 to 74 inches long (though a “California king” is 84 inches), and many have queen-size beds.
“There is no difference in the length of the bed, but a queen is so much narrower it makes sleeping uncomfortable,” complained Dan Sondhelm, a partner in SunStar, a financial services public relations firm in Alexandria, Va., who is 6-foot-4.
While many tall people say the travel industry seems to ignore them, they are not a tiny market. Five percent of men ages 20 to 74 in the United States are 6- foot-2 or taller, according to the most recent survey by the National Center for Health Statistics of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, conducted from 1999 to 2002.
Thomas C. Cambier, a 6-foot-8 lawyer at Hancock & Estabrook in Syracuse, N.Y., praised JetBlue for the roomy seats in its economy class. “Those few extra inches make all the difference in the world,” he said.
Mr. Brennan said he usually flew United’s Economy Plus, with higher-priced seats that offer up to five inches more legroom than its economy class, unless he is upgraded to first or business class, and he rattled off choice seats like the authority he is.
“Emergency exit row is a subtlety from airline to airline,” he said. “Often the extra legroom is in the row behind it. On a Boeing 737-300, you want the row behind the exit row, in the window seat. On a Boeing 757, a totally different configuration, it’s the exit row window seat.”
But paying a steep price for their height rankles some travelers.
“Special accommodations can be made, but often you pay more to get them,” said Colin Hutt, president of Primum Marketing Communications in Milwaukee, who is 6-foot-4.
Being tall is not limited to men, of course. “The showerhead is so low I do what I call the ‘shower limbo,’ ” Ann Marie Gothard, the 6-foot director of global communications for Orbis International, a nonprofit group that treats blindness in developing countries, said of her hotel in Vietnam on a recent business trip. The mirror, she added, was “hung at chest-level, requiring me to squat down to see myself from the shoulders up.”